Age 97, died Tuesday, August 16, 2022 at Chelsea Retirement Community. She was born July 2, 1925 in Norway, MI, the daughter of Vines & Jennie (Burm) Bernard.

Elaine graduated from Norway High School in 1942, and attended Cleary College in 1943. In 1959 she moved to Chelsea. Elaine was a member of St. Mary Catholic Church. She retired from Springer Insurance at the age of 65. Elaine enjoyed her family, friends, reading, and gardening. She also enjoyed playing cards with several different groups and loved to travel. She was a member of the Chelsea Woman’s Club and the Altar Society.

On July 13, 1946, she married Wilbur “Bill” Yocum, and he preceded her in death on January 22, 1976. She later married George A. Knickerbocker on January 21, 1983, and he preceded her in death on February 21, 1993. Survivors include a daughter, Joan (Charles) Moll of Bozeman, MT; four step-children, Suzanne D. Holm of Saline, MI, Steven George (Mary) Knickerbocker of Benton Harbor, MI, Patrice J. Seymour of Kalispell, MT, and Jana L. (Thomas) Bergman of Jefferson, MD; 11 grandchildren, CJ (Delaney) Moll, E. Katie (Cole) Zachman, Rebecca Holm, Michael (Rachel) Knickerbocker, Jennifer (Sebastian) Lopez and Laura (Jake Tolle) Knickerbocker, Trand and Chance Seymour, Meg, JT, and Knicki Bergman; and 4 great-grandchildren. She was preceded in death by a sister, Bernice Alexander.

A Funeral Mass will be held Tuesday, August 23, 11:00 am at St. Mary Catholic Church in Chelsea, with the V. Rev. Dr. William J. Canon Turner officiating. Burial will follow at Mt. Olivet Cemetery in Chelsea. The family will receive friends at Cole Funeral Chapel Monday, August 22, from 4-8 pm, with a Rosary service at 7:30 pm. Memorial contributions may be made to Arbor Hospice 2366 Oak Valley Dr. Ann Arbor, MI 48103, St. Mary Catholic Church 14200 Old US 12 Chelsea, MI 48118, or St. Paul United Church of Christ 14600 E. Old US 12 Chelsea, MI 48118.

 Elaine Marie Bernard Yocum Knickerbocker” Her name in and of itself certainly reflects and reminds us of what an abundant, full life she was blessed with. When I think of my Mom, there’s the obvious….,her beautiful smile, her enthusiasm, the beauty of her soul, (how she could find such joy in simple things and appreciate their true value), her childlike wonder, the way she would light up when you walked into her room, her unconditional love for her family and friends. She was so proud of all of us, especially her Grandchildren. We all felt that radiant love and always knew how much we meant to Mom. She was sincere in her relationships. Each and every one of us felt at ease with Mom as they sensed that there was always room for them in her heart. Her unwavering gratefulness, her sense of humor, (as evidenced by all the fun and many uncontrollable giggle episodes with myself, Auntie Bernice, and Diane), the way she would drop what she was doing when you called, ready to talk,.... always having date bars baked, frozen, and waiting for me when I arrived, (even in her early 90’s). Growing up, My Mom was the one who could whip up a costume overnight upon hearing that I needed it the next day. She not only was present at all of my performances but would attend each rehearsal as well. My biggest fan! Everyone was always welcome in our home, whether you were just visiting a short time, needed a place to stay when life became too challenging, or while you figured out your next move. There was always a place for you at our dinner table. My Mom always made sure I was surrounded by Family and Friends.There was never a day that I didn’t feel loved. Years later the Knickerbocker children would experience the same. She would become as exceptional of a mother to them, as she was to me.

When I ponder more deeply, why Mom is so special, so loved, why we miss her so much, and why I have so many heartwarming memories of her, I came up with these three reasons.

The first reason has to do with Mom’s “quiet strength”. Humility if you will. She carried herself with a presence of strength and humility at the same time. Thinking less about herself and quietly focusing on others. She listened more than she spoke, and was so good at it. She could listen to me for hours, sharing my experiences, personal insights, and perspectives and never once tell me my ideas originated from her, even though most of them probably did. Mom was confident and at the same time understood how small she was in comparison to nature, and all the beings in the world. I wonder if her understanding of this had something to do with her love for nature, gardening, flowers, birds, and even the deer or rabbits that would eat her plants. We are told in Ecclesiastes 3:7 that “There is a time to keep silent, and a time to speak”. My Mom was very good at knowing when to keep silent and when to speak. She was a Peacemaker. She seemed to understand that humility is the foundation of all spiritual life, and connects us directly to God.

My Mom was genuine. What you saw is what you got. Janet Louise Stephenson once said, “Authenticity requires a certain measure of vulnerability, transparency, and integrity”. My Mom seemed to be able to tap into any one of these qualities, or all of these qualities together, instinctually, at the right time. She knew who she was and didn’t pretend to be anything else. Being comfortable in her own skin, and grounded in reality, Mom was truly present in each moment, as she never was trying to figure out someone else’s agenda or worried about her own. On her fridge were three simple principles she lived by….”Drop it, Leave It, Let it go”. As Mom got older, we laughed about the new meanings those words took on. (dropping things more often, leaving something at home she forgot, not wanting to let things go when we cleaned out her closets)…,Mom was trustworthy, generous, and treated everyone with respect. And It was she, the oldest of the group, shuttling her friends to church, the grocery store, and card club.

Finally, Mom was a class act! She never stopped learning…,she was proud of the goals she had set for herself, and achieved. And there were many. She lived according to her values and beliefs, no matter what others thought of them. She never gave up, never became cross, or complained as her health challenges became too much. She loved life and wanted to live. She didn’t want to leave us. In her final months she had lost quite a bit of her short term memory, but I never once remember a time when she forgot to say “please” or “thankyou”, to myself, aids, housekeepers, chaplains, doctors, friends, family, etc…,Mom was kind and compassionate to all. She was always more concerned about everyone else than herself. Concern for others is a quality of the heart that Mom exercised regularly, rejoicing in the good things that others experienced, and grieving with those who wept. Mom was always trying to do the right thing. She understood when to take the high road and spread positivity to all around her, even when some did not deserve it. She faced her challenges with courage, faith, grace, and acceptance, as she had all her life.

If you’ve had the privilege of knowing Elaine Knickerbocker, or she has touched your life in any way, you are a better person for it. She left the world a much better place than she found it. She is gone but her goodness, love, and the fond memories she has left us with, remain in our hearts always. “Her song is in my soul”. Our souls….,

I will leave you with some additional lyrics by Dan Fogelberg that resonate with me, adapted for, and reminding me of, my Mom.

“She earned her love through discipline, a thundering velvet hand, her gentle means of sculpting souls took me years to understand” “I thank you for the music and your stories of the road, I thank you for the freedom when it came my time to go.

I thank you for the kindness, and the times when you got tough, and Ma Ma I don’t think I said “I love you” near enough”.

To Honor You By Connie Kiefer Boyd

To honor you, I get up everyday and take a breath.

And start another day with out you in it.

To honor you, I laugh and love with those who knew your smile,

and the way your eyes twinkled with mischief and secret knowledge.

To honor you, I take the time to appreciate everyone I love.

I know now there is no guarantee of days or hours spent in their presence.

To honor you, I listen to music you would have liked, and sing at the top of my lungs, with the windows rolled down.

To honor you, I take chances, say what I feel, hold nothing back, risk making a fool of myself, dance every dance.

You were my light, my heart, my gift of love, from the very highest source.

So every day, I vow to make a difference, share a smile, live, laugh, and love.

Now I live for us both, so all I do, I do to honor you.

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